Today I had the opportunity to speak in our church's sacrament meeting. As a newly called member of the Relief Society Presidency, I, along with my fellow presidency members were each given a topic to discuss. I was asked to speak on "Ways to Strengthen My Family". Here is the message that I shared. I based my talk on a Conference Talk titled, "In Praise of Those Who Save" by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
Brother
Daniels asked me to speak about Ways to Strengthen the Family. As soon as I
heard this topic, I immediately thought of The Family: A Proclamation to the
World. It is such an inspired document and one that is close to my heart.
In this
proclamation we learn that "...the family is central to the Creator's plan
for the eternal destiny of His Children." We also learn that we lived in
the premortal realm and worshipped God as our Eternal Heavenly Father. The
divine plan of happiness was introduced and enables family relationships to be
perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy
temples make it possible for us to return to the presence of God and for
families to be united eternally." The proclamation goes on to say that,
"The family is ordained of God and that marriage is essential to His
eternal plan."
This
inspired document details that, "Happiness in family life is most likely
to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Successful families are established and maintained on principles of faith,
prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome
recreational activities."
When
President Gordon B. Hinckley first read "The Family: A Proclamation to the
World", it provided clarity and simplicity. It taught truth. Little did we
realize then how very desperately we would need these basic declarations in
today's world as the very definition of family is being challenged in the
media, on the Internet, by scholars, on TV and in films, and even legislators
within the government. The proclamation on the family should be our benchmark
for judging the philosophies of the world. I know that the principles set forth
in this document are true and if followed will strengthen our families.
Now I
feel the need to address the fact that not all families look the same. Let's be
honest here...As each of us dreamt about the future and what it would hold for
us...not one person hoped that they would be single forever, or that they
wanted to grow up and get divorced, or that they would end up childless, or
widowed. Families come in all shapes and sizes. It is important to understand
and teach the Lord's pattern and strive for the realization of that pattern the
best we can. The challenge here on Earth is to find happiness no matter what
our family may look like and to strengthen the family that we have been
given.
So how do
we do that?
President
Uchtdorf in his talk titled, "In Praise of Those Who Save" counselled
the Brethren of the Church to "astonish your wife by doing things that
make her happy!" I would add to that, Sisters, astonish your husband by
doing things that make him happy!" I would go even further to say,
Parents, astonish your children by doing things that make them happy and;
children, astonish your parents by doing things that make them happy. Marriages
rarely, if ever, end in divorce when the husband and wife are happy. Families
rarely, if ever, fall apart when all family members are working together to
make each other happy.
Those who
save their eternal families, do so by choosing happiness! Abraham Lincoln once
said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to
be." It fits nicely with its scriptural companion, "Seek, and ye
shall find."
If we
look for imperfections in our spouse, or irritations with our family members,
we will certainly find them, because everyone has some. On the other hand, if
we look for the good, we will surely find it, because everyone has many good
qualities too.
Another
way to strengthen our families is by setting aside pride. The great enemy of
charity is pride. Pride is one of the biggest reasons marriages and families
struggle. Pride is short-tempered, unkind, and envious. Pride exaggerates its
own strength and ignores the virtues of others. Pride is selfish and easily
provoked. Pride assumes evil intent where there is none and hides its own
weaknesses behind clever excuses. Pride is cynical, pessimistic, angry, and
impatient. Indeed, if charity is the pure love of Christ, then pride is the
defining characteristic of Satan.
Life is
short. Regrets can last a long time--some will have repercussions that echo
throughout eternity. The way you treat your family...your spouse, your
children...may influence generations to come. What legacy do you want to leave
your posterity? One of harshness, vengeance, anger, fear, and isolation? Or one
of love, humility, forgiveness, compassion, spiritual growth, and unity? For
the sake of our family relationships, for the sake of our souls, we need to be
merciful and set aside pride.
Ask
yourself...Is being right more important than fostering an environment of
nurturing, healing, and love? Build bridges, don't destroy them. Even when you
are not at fault--perhaps especially when you are not at fault--let love
conquer pride.
If you do
this, whatever adversity you are facing will pass, and because of the love of
God in your heart, contention will fade. These principles of saving
relationships apply to all of us, regardless of whether we are married,
divorced, widowed, or single. We all can stand up for and defend strong
families.
As we let
go of pride, we can begin to love as the Savior loves. President Dieter F.
Uchtdorf taught, "as we emulate the Savior's love, He will surely bless
and prosper our righteous efforts to save our marriages and strengthen our
families." The Savior taught us to turn away from the natural man and to
replace contention with forgiveness, kindness, and compassion. He showed us how
to support each other and lift each other up. I love the quote, "Thee lift
me, I'll lift thee, and we'll ascend together eternally" Isn't that what
we want...to all ascend together into the presence of our Heavenly
Father.
It is
important to remember that strong marriages and family relationships require
constant, intentional work. The doctrine of eternal families must inspire us to
dedicate our best efforts to saving and enriching our families. All of this
won't happen in an instant. Great marriages and eternal families are built
brick by brick, day after day, over a lifetime.
Think
about that...a lifetime! No matter how flat your family relationships are at
the present time, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion,
listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty
pyramid will begin to grow. If it appears to be taking forever, remember, that
happy marriages and families are meant to last forever. So "be not weary
in well-doing, for ye are laying a foundation of a great work. And out of small
things proceedeth that which is great" Doctrine & Covenants 64:33
Building
an eternal family takes time, patience, and above all, the blessings of the
Atonement of Jesus Christ. It requires you to be kind, envy not, seek not your
own, be not easily provoked, think no evil, and rejoice in the truth. In other
words, it requires charity, the pure love of Christ. Blessings will come and
true happiness will be found from following the Savior's example.
Those who
save their families are successful because they counsel with their spouse and
family, seek the will of the Lord, and listen for the promptings of the Holy
Ghost. In the Book of Mormon we learn of a people who had discovered the secret
to happiness. For generations, "there was no contention...And surely there
could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the
hand of God." It was because of the love of God which did dwell in their
hearts.
Whatever
problems your family is facing, whatever you must do to solve them, the
beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ.
Without this love, even seemingly perfect families will struggle. With it, even
families with great challenges will succeed. Charity never faileth!
In our
efforts to strengthen our families, as in all things, let us follow the example
of the One who saves and strengthens us. Jesus Christ is our Master. His work
is our work. It is a saving work, and it begins in our homes. Love is essential
to the Plan of Happiness. We should strive to be selfless and seek the
well-being of others, especially our families.
In
closing, I know that as we strive to love as the Savior loves, He will bless
our efforts. As we set aside pride, we will be able to see what is truly
important in this life. As we nurture our relationships and put the happiness
of others above our own desires, we will have a more perfect relationship. As
we look for the good, we will find it. As we look to Jesus' example and strive
to be more like Him, our families will be strengthened.
I am
grateful to belong to a church that values marriage and family. I am grateful
for the precious truth restored by Joseph Smith that marriages and families are
meant to be eternal. Families are not just meant to make things run more
smoothly here on Earth and to be cast off when we get to Heaven. Rather, they
are the order of Heaven. They are an echo of a celestial pattern and an
emulation of God's eternal family.
I know
that this Church is true. I know that the Book of Mormon was restored in our
time by the prophet Joseph Smith. I know that we are all children of a Heavenly
Father who love us and knows each of us by name. I know that Jesus Christ is
our Savior and that through Him we can be forgiven. I know that as we put our
faith in him we will be blessed. I know that families are eternal and I am so
grateful for my little family.
In the
name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
